There is no doubt we love movies. We started A Reel Cinema @ Home because of our love for film. There is nothing we would rather do than watch a new blockbuster movie in the comfort of our home. Our second love is telling as many people who will listen what we thought about said movie. Lately, sleep has been a nemesis. Therefore, we struggled to tell our readers what we thought about Wonder Woman 1984.
We are true believers that one’s actions are more truthful than one’s words. Our actions clearly demonstrate we found Wonder Woman 1984 very boring. It took us four attempts to watch the entire film from beginning to end. We would start the movie then wake up hours later not knowing how it ended. We cannot think of another movie that had this same effect on us. Now that we finally made it to the end, this is what A Reel Cinema @ Home thinks of sleep-inducing Wonder Woman 1984.
Wonder Woman 1984 was released on Christmas Day (December 25, 2020). A perfect holiday gift for DC Extended Universe fangirls like us. Wonder Woman 1984 was a highly anticipated movie of our 2020 holiday season. Wonder Woman’s release is a part of HBO Max ‘s commitment to release 17 new blockbuster films to streaming at the same time the movie premiers in retail theaters. We are so glad HBO Max is committed to day-and-date releases. We are torn because we love the HBO Max streaming platform, but we found Wonder Woman 1984 narcoleptic.
Wonder Woman 1984 had more cheese than my black momma’s, soul food Sunday macaroni and cheese. Even worse the action sequences are corny and cheesy just like the 1980s decade.
Amazonian girl power was on display during the opening scene. For a “very brief” moment, we felt the need to work out. We committed to doing one – just one – sit up based off the opening scene. Seriously, the opening scene is action packed. A young Diana competes in an Olympic style contest and learns a valuable lesson. Great warriors don’t take the short path and they don’t cheat. A victory won by cheating is STILL a loss.
“No true hero is born from lies.”
The crew did a great job recreating the clothes, hair, and makeup from the 80s decade. The costume designers nailed the tacky neon outfits worn back in the day. The good attention to 1980s details make the film that much more enjoyable. There is a funny montage of Steve trying on different 80s outfits to Diana’s disapproval. It really shows 80s fashion as a special moment in time that merits laughter today.
Gal Gadot stars as Wonder Woman again. She does a fantastic job as always. We have no complaints about Gal’s performance. We love Gal as Wonder Woman and in our favorite movie franchise Fast & Furious.
When Wonder Woman makes her scene debut to the film audience, she lassos robbers in a mall. Her movements gave off Spider-Man vibes. You must give big props to a woman who can kickass while wearing metal, wedge heeled, thigh-high boots. Beautiful and smart, Diana Prince side-hustles as a museum curator in Washington, D.C. She works in the Cultural Anthropology and Archaeology Department at the Smithsonian Institute.
Our dissatisfaction of Wonder Woman 1984 centers around the lazy ass plot. The corny comes in when Dr. Barbara Minerva’s character is introduced. We recognized the overused and boring as fuck setup immediately. That’s probably why it took four times for us to finish watching the movie. The unrememberable, nerdy, ugly duckling turned beautiful just like every other movie. The eyeglass wearing, nerd transformed into a beautiful swan who SUDDENLY has perfect vision is old and tired. We were annoyed as fuck realizing the corny festival was a big part of the upcoming storyline.
We cannot believe, Director and Co-Writer, Patty Jenkins thought the same ole tired ass storyline was a good idea. We expected more from the blockbuster film of 2020. Wonder Woman 1984 delivers a repetitive, tired storyline we have seen many times before. How many movies have repeated the same damn storyline? Too many! “She’s All That,” “The Princess Diaries,” “My Life in Ruins,” “Miss Congeniality,” “Cinderella,” and “Can’t Buy Me Love” just to name a few.
The movie premise revolves around making a wish upon an ancient Citrine rock with Latin words “Place upon the object held but one great wish.” Whatever Diana, Barbara, and Lord Maxwell wishes for comes true immediately. On the flipside, every wish has a cost. That’s the premise of the movie. Wish – Rock – Action!
Dr. Barbara Minerva is smart like Diana. Minerva also works at the Smithsonian Institute in the Geology, Gemology, Lithology, and part-time Cryptozoologist Departments. Hey! What is a girl to do but study when she doesn’t have a man blowing her back out nightly?
Barbara seeing Diana as pretty, confident, and likeable makes a wish upon the stone to be like Diana. Barbara unknowingly becomes just like Diana including her superhero powers. Upon making that wish the ugly duckling corny storyline escalates. Barbara now beautiful and living her best hot girl summer life, develops a nasty, angry ass attitude. In that respect, the film is real and not so much corny. Many pretty girls have stank ass attitudes.
A big deal is made of Barbara’s inability to walk in kitten heals. After Barbara makes her wish, she is now able to stomp-the-yard with Alpha Kappa Alpha and Delta Sigma Theta at Spellman while wearing six inch red bottom, stilettos. As women we are irate that Patty would write women who don’t wear heals are not sexy, strong, and confident. We rolled our eyes and shifted our seating positions. Whether a woman is wearing house shoes, Chuck Taylors, or stomping “two-pair” of Air Force Ones, we are sexy. No man has ever turn down some pussy based on the style of shoe a woman wears on her feet. Did we mention Patty’s lazy ass writing? Moving on!
Barbara then gives a tour of the Smithsonian to confidence man Maxwell Lord. Maxwell Lord (acted by Pedro Pascal) is an infomercial television celebrity. Maxwell has conned investors in an oil Ponzi scheme. Maxwell offers a large donation to gain access to staff at the Smithsonian.
Lord flirts with Barbara to con her trust and “borrow” the Latin stone. Maxwell takes the stone from Barbara’s office and uses the stone to make a wish that he becomes the stone. Wonder Woman chases Maxwell around the world to get the stone back not realizing Maxwell is the stone. Wonder Woman 1984 then goes into lame battles and predictable situations for two and a half hours to get Maxwell to take back his wish. A series of Maxwell’s wishes drive the world to the brink of nuclear war.
Diana also makes a wish on the Latin stone to bring Steve Trevor (acted by Chris Pine) back to life. Steve magically returns in the body of someone else. We assume this was the circle reference to the opening sequence where young Diana took a short cut and cheated in the Olympic style race. We assume since Diana cheated with her wish for Steve’s return it was her short cut. This premise is not explored deeply enough for plot development. Patty left some wide gaps in her story writing.
We wondered what happened to the man that originally owned Steve’s body while Diana and body snatcher Steve ran around Egypt? Patty wrote a story line where human bodies can be highjacked and then returned without any physical consequences. We are calling bullshit. The entire movie premise is unbelievable! Patty’s script writing is lazy and dull. The lack of continuity makes Wonder Woman 1984 an extremely lackluster film. Thus, explains why we fell asleep four times while watching.
On a positive note, we did appreciate the Linda Carter cameo as Asteria at the end of the film. It is always respectful to give roses to the original living legends. Linda Carter starred as Wonder Woman in television and film for years. It was a great moment to show Asteria was still alive and well.
As you can tell, we were disappointed with Wonder Woman 1984. We wanted a newer and fresher storyline. We felt Patty Jenkins’ writing did not do justice to Gal Galdot’s performance. We knew the moment Barbara’s wish granted her powers like Diana’s a battle would happen. The battle was far from epic. We also predicted the golden suit referenced early in the film would be worn during the battle. Again, the movie is very predictable and boring.
A Reel Cinema @ Home fans should watch Wonder Woman 1984. Just don’t go out of your way to do it. Watch it free from the library, $2 at Red Box, or free on cable. The movie is not worth a lot of effort in terms of what you get back in entertainment. Hopefully, you can stay awake!
Release Date: December 25, 2020
Starring: Gal Gadot, Chris Pine, Kristen Wiig
Genres: Fantasy, Action, Adventure
Runtime: 151 Minutes
